You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
