He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
