I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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