all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
