from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm getting married
To pizza
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
