how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
