I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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