u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
