I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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