Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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