either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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