i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
