I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize