You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
