But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
