Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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