PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
