fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
