Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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