Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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