I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
