I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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