this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just high enough for therapy.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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