dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
