did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
