Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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