bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
