I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize