I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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