I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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