Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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