Duck Duck Cougar?
sarcasm needs its own font
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
