I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
