The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize