Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
