is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize