We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I feel great
I just peed on a car
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
