Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
