The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
