I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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