I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Mom said you looked used
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
