Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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