I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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