guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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