His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I cockslap morals
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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