We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
