you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
