he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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