I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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