you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
