Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
