grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I cannot find my penis.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize