I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I intend to get homeless drunk
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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