I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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